My Journey of Passion, Professional Gaming, and Resilience
I can’t speak for other people’s journeys, only my own. I used to love inspirational quotes, but there came a time where I couldn’t see another inspirational quote – I had to start applying what the quotes were saying.
Now what the fuck does that even mean?
I had to pick something to do, and go for it. Apply all the inspiration these quotes were shoving down my throat.
I chose to become a streamer, for anyone who doesn’t know what a streamer is, a streamer is someone who records themself live streaming an activity. In my case I chose gaming, specifically one game: Counter Strike Global Offensive (CSGO).
CSGO is a 5v5 competitive first-person shooter game where two teams, the Terrorists (T) and the Counter-Terrorists (CT), face off against each other. Each team has distinct objectives:
- Terrorists: Plant a bomb at one of two bomb sites (A or B) or eliminate all Counter-Terrorists.
- Counter-Terrorists: Prevent the bomb from being planted, defuse it if it’s planted, or eliminate all Terrorists.
This loosely sums up the game, however it’s much more complex than meets the eye. The level of teamwork necessary to successfully play the game is not incorporated in most gameplay until you reach a certain professional level, even still difficult to achieve in the highest ranking.
I had little to no knowledge about this when I began streaming this game. I just enjoyed playing so freaking much, so much that I based my entire streaming career around it.
Ah HA! Do something you enjoy so much that it doesn’t feel like work. That’s how it started anyway…
I began streaming on Twitch, a major streaming platform, at a time when most people nearby had no understanding of what streaming was, much less the idea of playing video games for a living.
This unfamiliarity led to side eyes, negative comments, and widespread confusion among my close circle. The confusion was so great that when I started to generate a small income and then pursue full-time streaming, a family member mistakenly believed it involved me playing poker and gambling online.
Much about the online gaming world was still hidden from the masses. Then along came Fortnite and it completely changed the way people viewed gaming and streaming.
People immediately responded to my answer to the question of what I did for a living with: Oh so do you play Fortnite?
Quitting my first job in premium luxury retail in London brought me immense happiness, turning in my resignation letter was a proud but vengeful moment. Little did I know what was to come.
My journey involved juggling two retail jobs and streaming on Twitch for five hours daily to reach this milestone. The excitement was palpable when a job offer came through to become a full-time streamer, with pay slightly higher than my current retail hourly rate.
It was a no brainer – MY OH MY how I didn’t know how volatile the gaming world was/is.
It didn’t take long to realize that I wasn’t able to sustain my standard of living working as a full time streamer at that moment and so my journey took a turn – a turn I didn’t expect.
Because I had worked in luxury fashion and had a background in professional gaming I got presented with a job offer, working as a marketing manager for a company that specialized in Luxury Gaming products.
Something neither I nor any of my colleagues in the gaming world even thought existed. It did, and boy was it amazing. Exhausting, but amazing. I ended up traveling from California to Hong Kong while living in London. Meeting incredible people in the process and working for a legend in the music industry.
But I was missing my gaming.
Things took another turn, right before covid came and I was made redundant. However, this time I saw an opportunity.
I could get back to my gaming career.
I moved out of London and back to my homebase in Portugal. Beautiful Portugal – and I got to work. I joined forces with one of the people I trust the most, to this day. The person that gave me my first ever opportunity to join a female team and evolve as a professional CSGO player.
I initially chose to become a CSGO streamer because I loved the game, I didn’t ever think I would be good enough to go pro. I knew how difficult it was to be a professional player, let alone a female CSGO player. The stars aligned at that moment, and the project to build one of the top CSGO teams in the world began.
During my time away from professional gaming/streaming I gained much needed skills for marketing such a project, so in truth the stars aligned every step of the way.
FUCKING HELL was it tough. But we did it, a year and a half into the project and we were ranked sixth best female team in the world.
The journey to this point was filled with tears, anxiety, sweat and no social life but it was the first time in my life that I had set myself a seemingly unrealistic goal of becoming a leader of one of the top teams in the world and achieving it.
This journey has revealed that with grit, hard work, collaboration, we can achieve anything we set our minds to. But it’s through embracing change and adapting to the inevitable twists and turns that we ultimately find ourselves exactly where we’re meant to be at the heart of our passion.
Passion evolves with time, much like we humans change shape and evolve so do our skills and passions.
I had no idea what I was doing, all I knew was that I love CSGO. I surrounded myself with people who were better and more experienced and set out to achieve something for the greater good: To enable the growth of the female gaming scene, to give opportunities to other women that had the same dream.
Together we did it. Today many of my teammates are still on the best teams in the world. Being supported to do what they love, and achieve their dreams, inspiring others on their journey.
My mother always said to leave a space better than when you found it. I believe this applies to everything we set our mind to, as long as our intentions are for the greater good we have all we need to make the impossible happen.
We got this.