I Thought I Was Learning to Write. Turns Out, I Was Learning to Listen.

The year I almost forgot why I started.

It’s been a wild 2025 so far. I haven’t been consistent with my weekly blog. And you know what? That alone has taught me something. My focus hasn’t been on creating. It’s been on money.

And that realisation? It lands heavy. Not because money itself is bad. But because my relationship with it has been… complicated.

I didn’t grow up struggling financially, but I did grow up absorbing a narrative that shaped my mindset in ways I’m still untangling. My mum used to say money was the root of all evil, and my rational mind still fights to disagree.

This mindset bled into the way I viewed work. 

I’ve always been a hard worker. Like, give-everything-until-there’s-nothing-left kind of worker. And that? That’s a sign of a toxic relationship with money. Because if your pursuit of it is costing your well-being, your joy, your creativity – then who’s really in control?

Here’s what happened.

I started this blog as a playground, a space where a new part of me could run wild. A place to explore something I’d never truly done before: writing. Beyond school essays and the occasional journal entry, I had never considered myself a “writer.” But I knew one thing… Storytelling called to me.

And if something calls to me, I have to give it a real shot. (Even if that little fucker in my head tells me I have no business to)

So, naturally, I dove in headfirst. Last year alone, I took eight courses (yes, eight…I have zero chill) to deepen my understanding of content marketing and storytelling.

This blog became my controlled experiment, a way to introduce my real self to the world, piece by piece.

But then, something unexpected happened.

What started as curiosity turned into respect. Then that respect turned into something deeper. A pull. A need. A passion (dare I say it?). I don’t know if I can call myself a passionate writer just yet. But a happy writer? Absolutely.

And that happiness unlocked something else.

I am beginning to find my voice.

I started writing daily LinkedIn posts. Slowly building a community of like-minded humans. And, before I knew it, I had built a freelance business.

It still catches me off guard, even though… technically – I’ve been laying the groundwork for this all along.

But if we’re being real, my relationship with work and money? Still foggy.

BUT I’M WORKING ON IT, OK?

I think?

I believeeee! 

Anyway…

So far, the lessons have been real. Even my old friend acute anxiety decided to drop by (thought we broke up, guess not). Turns out, the parts of us we think we’ve outgrown? They’re never really gone. They’re just waiting for the right moment to resurface.

And that moment?

It’s always when we dare to step outside our comfort zone and when we do something that doesn’t align with our growth. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe healing isn’t about erasing who we used to be. Maybe it’s about learning to hold those parts of ourselves with a little more love than we knew how to before.

And one of the biggest lessons?

Money.

I took on a client that, deep down, I knew wasn’t the right fit. But I said yes anyway – because the money was good. And that one decision? It drained me. It pulled me away from the very creativity that brought me here in the first place. It hit me hard: I don’t need to rush building my finances if it costs me my joy and creativity.

After all, we are here to create. And if we stop creating the things that cultivate joy, then what value are we really adding, to ourselves, to others, to the world?

Because aren’t we bringing our all when we bring joy and love into the world?

Turns out, value isn’t built in a day.

It compounds. Over time. With the right people. In the right spaces.

I say I should’ve listened to my gut. But if I hadn’t gone through it, I wouldn’t have learned to trust myself more.

And that brings me back to this blog.

I didn’t start writing because I had it all figured out. I started because I wanted to. Because something inside me was asking to be explored.

I thought I was just learning to write. Turns out, I was learning to listen. To my creativity. To my fears. To the parts of me that are still healing.

To myself.

And maybe that’s why this blog matters so much. Because it’s not just a place to create, it’s a place to become.

So yeah, 2025 has been A RIDE.

But if there’s one thing I know for sure?

I’m just getting started.

Let this be a reminder, straying from the things that keep us creative, lead us to the path of most resistance. 

Much love, and thank you dearly for making it to the end!